"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us--don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know. How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!"
Most people have probably (well maybe) heard this poem before. I have felt this way a lot recently and in the past in differing degrees. I have not necessarily felt it in a conscious way, but in more of an unconscious way. I have struggled with friendships a lot. (I would just like to say right now I am not looking for sympathy here. I am just wanting to put to words a little of what's been going on in my life. :) )
From as far as I can remember, I have not been a very social person. I am not one who is outgoing and makes friends very easily. But, I think if I may say so, I am known to be quite a friendly person. So, why do I am not outgoing and have lots of close friends? This could be for many reasons. As I have given it thought, I guess I have drawn this conclusion. You cannot be close friends with people if you never allow them to get close to you. I put a smile on for people and I try to be nice....not that I am not, but sometimes I do not feel like it.
Alright well it's late.....I'm going to finish my thoughts in another installment or two.
5 comments:
Hey Matt,
I've never heard that poem before, but felt that way a lot probably just under a year ago.. but know I feel much different. I use to be SO shy and quiet.. but now its different. I may still not be the first one to jump and do something, but I am pretty confident now. I think it has a lot to do with how much I've been hanging out with Tyler and Jenna lately.. that might sound silly, but they are so outgoing and being around them has made me more outgoing too. Well anyways.. just a few thoughts. I guess I'll cya sometime here. Bye bye!
I think I know exactly how you feel.
I like this Matt. Good thoughts. This is actually one of my most favorite poems. Emily Dickinson's poems is what inspired my love for poetry. I loved how "real" she seemed to be. She wasn't anybody but herself, and she expressed it in her own unique style.
Believe it or not, I kind of feel the same way in my life right now, and I guess I always have. I'm very outgoing. But it is true that I don't have any really close friends simply because I won't let anyone get close to me. It's funny how things work out that way.
Thanks for the post, Matt!
Matt,
I think what you're expressing is something that is felt by so many. People want to be understood - loved for who they are, not for who others chose to view them as.
I agree with Emily Dickinson that it's better to be nobody (yourself - who's not "nobody" at all - I love the irony here!) than to be somebody who's not really.
Don't ever change who you are to be a "somebody." You're an expression of God's creativity! :)
Thanks for sharing.
Looking forward to future installments to see what God has revealed to you.
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