Wow. This is a subject I really cannot even begin to write on because I struggle so much in this area. It's so hard for me to be content with where I am right now. Would I much rather say "I'm really content and life could not be better"? Yes! But honestly I'm just not there right now. Don't get me wrong though, I am, and know quite well, that I am blessed in so many ways. More ways than I can list. But for a long time there has been a constant discontentment in my life. Now I know everyone is discontent at different times for many reasons. But this is different.
I find myself wishing I looked different, had certain friends, have some sort of popularity (it's shallow I know), had a better walk with God, more spirituality, etc. There is just an overall discontentment in my life. It's a lot I know. Don't worry I'm not going to do anything drastic and I am not overly depressed. I am just discontent. Now I know this is not good. When I am discontent it leads to all sorts of sin. I become jealous of people, self-centered, and turn inward and not let anyone in. I know this is something I'm going to have to work through before I can move on in certain areas of life, it's just hard. I wish it would be as easy saying I don't want this or I don't want to be like that. But it's not that easy. I would appreciate prayer in this area.
"I know both how to have a little, and I know hoe to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret [of being content]--whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need."
Phil. 4:12
2 comments:
Discontentment in anything other than our Lord is a natural conclusion! In order to be truly content with any area of our lives we need to let God be the focus which we build our life upon =)And he will never let us down or dissappoint us in the end!
Ill pray for you my friend!
David
I appreciate your transparency and your honesty. Excited to get to serve alongside someone who is not scared of being real and authentic while still striving to push forward.
I strongly believe there is something holy that happens in discontentment, even selfish discontent. Elijah had that moment. I mean he wanted God to kill him (1 Kings 19)... How more discontent with life can one be? He knew his role on this planet and yet he selfishly wanted to be taken out. And then there is Moses... He wanted to be killed too... Numbers 11:15... Granted both of their situations had to do with the heavy weight of their burdens, but I still think its applicable... In both cases God provides for them. He transforms them in those moments. He doesn't scream at them or brush them off and say deal with it, he draws close, loves them, and provides for their needs. I think its sometimes in these seasons that we learn more about ourselves and who God really is. And without these seasons we would stay surface, selfish, baby Christians. At least in my own life I seem to need to be bothered by discontentness to notice the yucky things. And yes I just made up a word... :) But seriously Matt, I'm thankful you aren't scared to publicly tell everyone where you are at! It's an awesome :)
I'm praying for you Matt! And you might have pulled out of this season, but still know I'm praying for you!
Post a Comment