really bad at keepin' up with this thing..

At Thrive Youth tonight, Josh has been teaching a series on Spiritual gifts.  This was the third week.  I missed the first week or two so I'm not totally sure how he has approached it all, but tonight he spoke a lot on passions.  While passions are not our actual spiritual gifts, they help, I think, show what our spiritual gift/gifts is/are.

Josh went through a list of questions that were aimed at helping the kids consider what there passions are.  The questions included things like what is one thing that when we see it moves us to action, what is one thing that we cannot stand to see people live without, and such.  They really were good questions to get the  students (and also me) thinking about our passions.  That was the first part.  And it was good.


The second part, while somewhat depressing, resounded a little more with me in that it caused me to think a little more.  And it was about Passion Killers (sounds kind of like pain killers...which is a good thing...haha).  Anyway, Josh shared a list including things like sin, doubt, fear, self-focused, and apathy as things that take our passion away.  Sin, doubt, self-focus, and apathy struck me as four things that stood out in that list that I struggle the most with in terms of what kills my passions.  The sin simply takes away my passion because I think I've found something better which replaces my passions.  I doubt because I do not think God is able to use me for big things.  I'm self-focused and think I know what is most enjoyable so I replace that with what truly would make me happy.  Finally, because I am apathetic I do not care enough to follow my passions.


These things hit home in that I realize they have been ousting my passions.  Often, and only to my detriment, I think I know what makes me happy.  When in fact, I've been "settling" for what I think is good.  From this I've taken that I need to stop sinning, doubting, being self-focused, and being apathetic. Yes, yes I know that is impossible because I'm not perfect, but I know what I need to strive for. 


"All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
-C.S. Lewis


"Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
-C.S. Lewis

P.S. Sorry it's been so long.  Proud of you if you made it through all the above scribble and thoughts.  Hopefully I'll start writing more.  Though I always say that and it never happens.  Oh well.